so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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