But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize