i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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