I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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