oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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