Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
