Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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