you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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