I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize