My liver just broke up with me...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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