You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize