Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it hurts more in the daytime
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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