I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize