You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize