I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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