i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize