I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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