in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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