We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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