Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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