you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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