i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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