oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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