This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its about making memories worth repressing
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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