No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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