I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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