worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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