I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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