Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize