Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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