pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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