I will die if light touches me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize