Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
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I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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