You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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