I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Success! We fucked roommates!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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