..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dignity is for republicans.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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