My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
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I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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