i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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