You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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