If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize