Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize