my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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