u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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