I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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