I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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