Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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