worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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