Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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