The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
we're so committed to being not committed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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