is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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