exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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